Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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