Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
