its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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