thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
ttyl tear gas
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
