By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize