Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
one might say we're banned from that church
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
