i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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