goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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