Your mouth is God's brothel.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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