Apparently you make a good broom.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
