I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
