so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
