Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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