Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
