And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
