don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
