I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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