i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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