splinters make it hard to masturbate
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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