i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
