my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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