Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
