Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I wish I could teleport
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize