So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
