So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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