I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
They took my balls.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize