Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
