i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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