Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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