Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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