Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
