Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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