the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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