And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
