Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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