We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
