I wish I could punch you in the face.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize