just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize