It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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