Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
