Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
