my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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