she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
