well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
