He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
