This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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