Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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