There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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