I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
