Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
