what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
