the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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