tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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