Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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