bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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