I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
this boner is exhausting
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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