I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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