About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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