"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
