Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
