Banned from zoo.
Again?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize