I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
