Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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