I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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