Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
