No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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