Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
