The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize